Undateable

This post will be entirely in wangster language.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wangster

(^For those of you who are older than 30)

Yo so check this playa out.

Lemme rap to you for a sec about this wangster.

ok, I quit. can’t be a consistent wangster.

This was in the shuttle one morning, and it was really cold. This playa right her needed to rep his team you know, so like iss coo, you know cuz he be reppin and iss tight right? essept then he go and put that nassst thermal ish under it cuz he be freezin under thar. Then he got his fitty cap on, reppin, and his skull candies, gettin krump. He gotsta keep it real, you know? Gotta keep his swag on, his thug up.

This young man is totally undateable. Here  is a link that talks about the tv show called undateable.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/undateable/series.jhtml

As funny as moments like this can be, there are some serious problems with it!

#1- he aint on the bball court!! wear CLOTHES, not athletic wear! Save it for the game, broski. We respect that you wanna rep your roots, but the hat is plenty! get an actual shirt that has the team logo.

#2- The thermal under the jersey. Messed.  Jerseys should be worn like this:

ONLY when in a music video and ONLY when one has achieved the status of a famous rap star should one ever wear a jersey outside of a sporting event. Then you can wear whatever the frack you want. Who gon tellim no? mmhmm.

wearing an ill-fitting thermal under a jersey that in no way color-coordinates with said jersey makes you UNDATEABLE.

#3 Being constantly plugged in to your over-the-ear head phones, worn over-the-fiftycap, makes you undateable. I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that he’s not listening to an audiobook. SO he’s probably jammin out to some Tupac or listening to the game. Why he feels that it is necessary to block off one entire sense to the outside world (of the 5) is a mystery to me.

not to mention his fashion sense.

*punny*

Now, Tupac is awesome, and I’ll tell you why.

The media IS full of dirty tricks!

Like making boys on the shuttle think it’s cool and acceptable to be total wangsters!

You should check out my friend’s blog, briannastruthaboutbeauty.wordpress.com 

It’s an awesome blog about how the media ruins America’s concept of beauty.

Also, Chance Lewis is performing this Saturday night at Muse Music Cafe. If you want to see a white boy rapper reppin Provo, stop in. He’s releasing an album. woooo! (and he’s definitely not a wangster.)

http://soundcloud.com/chancelewis/underdogg-feat-nate-pyfer

here’s a sample.

 

Sleep Subliminally!…?

 

 

I don’t  really want to try to figure this one out.

So lets try to figure around it.

If we’re thinking logistically here, this was a very poor choice  of location to zonk out. Location Location Location.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0954327/quotes?qt=qt0288490

This is funny^

#1 There are many long, cushioned benches available here on UVU campus that would  be infinitely more comfortable to sleep on.  How  would I know? Because college is like a miniature world- we still have bums that sleep on the edges  of  walkways.

#2 This  location is incredibly bright, as in sunshine. Perhaps a darker  hallway would  have served her better.  These more dimly lit hallways are readily available at UVU, but perhaps  the soft chirping of wildlife (and the occasional sqwack-and-thud of clean-window-induced wild death) created a pleasant ambiance for her.

#3 This location is  very public. It is just inside the front entrance of  the BA  building, and directly left of an ATM! (I always feel the need to put exclamation points directly after using all CAPS!!!!) Sleeping  in an area with this many people has several different negative implications, one being that a snarky blogger will take a snap shot of your less-than-poised moment and blog about you for a class assignment.

#4 Her stuff is scattered EVERYWHERE! From the Slipknot backpack tipped on its side to her purse  in the chair next to her, to the ever-popular (but apparently not engaging enough to keep her awake) Teriyaki Styx bowl perched precariously on her lap… it’s all a mess.

side note-why are laps so magical? Is a lap a legitimate body part? if a person is standing up, do they still have a lap? Do laptops have identity crises? Do obese people lose the privilege of a lap the fatter they become?

 

 

lap                                                                                                       no lap

some lap?

“I digress” is a massive understatement at this point.

massive…^(haha)

Back to the UVU hallway sleeper.

Judging by her slack jaw and bowl of food perched precariously on said lap, I’m assuming all of those reasons never occurred to her, because sleeping there was not a choice. I think I know what happened.

The once-trustworthy Teriyaki Styx was so enjoyable to her that she slipped into a pleasure-induced food coma, also referred to as a siesta in the more southerly regions of the Americas.

                                                                                                          (Siesta)

 

Blogging has really done wonders for my logical problem-solving skills!

My title is probably still seeming a tad inapplicable at the moment. (I almost said ATM but then realized that would be very confusing for our purposes today.) I was going to go on a rant about her Slipknot backpack. She paid money to be a walking billboard for their band. They should be paying her! The moral of the story is, don’t conform to that aspect of society by becoming another number in the advertising world.  Support companies and organizations that don’t feel the need to smear their logo across your chest in order to get more business.

in the words of Tracy,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtkU2ch0sRI

Peace and Blessings

Awkward?

Does this make you as uncomfortable as it makes me???

 

I have to walk by this awkward scarecrow every morning, and to be honest, it just makes me feel weird. I’m not usually the girl who feels uncomfortable. I sometimes create awkward situations just to keep things interesting. my point is that this scarecrow is special, or especially awful, and I want to figure out why.

Firstly, I don’t understand it.  scarecrows belong outside. their origin requires that they be outside, and near some sort of foliage.

http://www.yourdictionary.com/foliage

(For those of you who… aren’t readers)

Second, it isn’t centered.  if it were a permanent decoration, I would understand, because not being able to use your peep-hole is a huge safety hazard (semi-sarcasm)

 

What? No!

 

And also, It.is.DECEMBER! Get a fracking snowman!

Also, I don’t understand why it is hung. (hanged?) Scarecrows are traditionally, and as a rule should always be, on a stake, stuck in the ground. Eh?

As for the (hanged) reference,

http://grammar.about.com/od/alightersideofwriting/a/hangedgloss.htm

(For  those of you who didn’t pay attention in English)

And that might be the biggest reason why it makes me uncomfortable.

The top (first) scarecrow looks like   he is a human being being hanged. And I HATE IT.

Technically I should be thankful for thanksgiving decorations… but this one brought me back more to the days of lynching during the civil war rather than Plymouth and the first thanksgiving.

 

OK, enough with the scarecrow nonsense.  This post is an example of how wonderful the internet is. Within seconds I was able to pull up links that informed me and others of grammar rules as well as virtually any fact known to man.

Plus, I just needed to vent about my day-to-day oddities.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

“Technology is the devil…” -People everywhere over 50

You can see the soft glow of technology reflected in his bifocals, right?

As I said in my previous post, we live in a world of hyper communication. The internet transcends time and space, making virtually any information accessible to anyone who has a computer, smart phone, etc. Texting, Skype, and other communication programs allow instant communication with anyone in the world. We have incredible resources available to us in this day and age.

HOWEVER, old people are always jawing about “kids these days” who are obsessed with their video games, owned by their mobile phones, and in all other ways totally ruined by technology. i think there are a few different reasons for this attitude.

Firstly, they are talking about something that they don’t/can’t understand.  Maybe that is a disease of the brain as people get older, forming opinions of things that they haven’t experienced or even looked into or studied.

Second, they don’t understand how an electronic gadget is a satisfying way to spend one’s time.  They grew up in times where the only place to get news was from the evening news and daily newspaper, and the only way to contact someone was to send a letter, call them on a land-line phone, or physically go to them.  They worked hard on the farm in order to make ends meet, and they feel that this is the only way to build character- hard physical labor.  When they see us (the millennial generation) focused mainly on entertainment, and with a sense of entitlement we view the world as our oyster.

The facts are these: yes, there are some people in my generation who do feel entitled and only want to be entertained. But it is my opinion that we are not all like that, in fact the majority of us are not complete failures as human beings. We’re actually kind of awesome.  And i’ll tell you why.

The gift of technology allows us to be incredibly efficient.  Presentations, papers, research, no problem. We save a huge amount of time. We are therefore able to accomplish other beneficial things, like learning about what is happening in the world around us, reading articles on a myriad of subjects,  all made readily available by TECHNOLOGY.

We’re also awesome becuase we don’t do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgu5kXyNAtE

Basically my point is that the world is moving forward, and there are new ways to grow and learn. Old people may not understand them, but its the way it is, and griping about these darned kids who have no moral judgement system isn’t going to help us one bit.

instead, try:

Taking the computer 101 class offered for free at your local library. See what word processors and the internet can do for YOU.

Send your grandchild an encouraging email, and when you get really good, send them a funny photo from your phone. Yes, the mobile one. yes, they have cameras.

As my parents so poorly demonstrated while raising me, the best way to motivate is through positive encouragement. “keep doing great!” as opposed to “You’d better not mess up.”Don’t get me wrong, I love old people, er- “elderly,” (as my mother incessantly corrected me.) We as a younger generation can learn a LOT from them, but they can also learn a lot from us. I’m a firm believer that in order to get respect from someone, (healthy respect, not fear that some people disguise as respect,) we must first respect them.

ps, I feel like this sign should be posted outside every home where one of “these” resides. . . . haha just kidding… kinda.

Cross-Country Three-Wheeling

Alright. Someone PLEASE explain this.

Ok, I’ll try.

I saw this contraption as I was driving with my family on the way to Colorado. That should probably be the first point I make; This elderly woman is a CO resident. Call me loyal, but I will always make an effort to retain some normality for the residents of the great state of Utah..(people working together..)

<that song may or may not be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.>

Unless of course she enjoys cross-country three-wheeling. Question mark?

Which brings me to my next point; WHAT is it?

The motorcycle helmet is deceiving, because this, by definition, is NOT a motorcycle, as I’m sure any true biker would agree.  It has a steering wheel instead of handle bars, yet there is only one front wheel. Another contradiction.

I don’t even know where the go stick is! Does it have an accelerator? Is it a stick shift or an automatic?….

Questions regarding functionality: She looks like she is wearing office clothes! Could you picture your real estate agent or bank teller cruising around in this? Does it have a cover for the winter time? How is the gas mileage? Does she belong to a three-wheeler gang? Did bingo get bland? Does she have any tattoos?

Okay, I figured it out. She was involved in a very upper-class white elephant gift exchange party, and she lost a bet.  Without both of those occurrences, I don’t know why any sane person would be driving this.

And yet, the way she looked at me when she saw me taking her picture makes me think that she cares for that contraption like only a mother could.

But at least I’ve come up with a name for it: the senior citizen motorcycle: it’s so safe, you’re more likely to break a hip while you’re swimming!

visual aid!

That slogan could use some work.

Once again, I saw this and instantly wanted to post it on FB and Twitter.  I enjoy seeing strange/awkward pictures when others post them, so I try to return the favor. The exciting thing about this particular vehicle however, is that I saw a picture of another senior citizen motorcycle on my friend Hailey’s FB wall! So I proceeded to tag her in my photo, and together we shared a moment that, without social media websites (not to mention the advances in technology that allow us to snap and share a photo at a moment’s notice) the moment would have never happened.

Not only that, but it could have never happened at the speed that it did without mass media. Even when I decided that I needed an awkward picture of old people, within 1 minute I was able to google “awkward old people,” select, save, upload and post, all thanks to someone else who decided to share photos online through mass media.

it’s a beautiful life.

Here is a treat from me to you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBxmidwDy2Y

Her name is Kimbra, and she is stellar. I definitely cannot stop listening to this song. (and it’s been 3 weeks)

And this is what keeps life interesting…

People can be incredibly interesting. Well, let me start over.

When I’m at school at UVU I see some very unique … individuals.  But the really interesting thing about it is when I see them, my “knee-jerk” reaction is to snap a photo and post it on Facebook and Twitter (super creepin).

I’m not sure why I feel the need to do this… maybe it’s because I want to spread joy to others and share a laugh, or maybe I’m a terrible person who likes to laugh at people who are different…Meh.

Either way- it’s funny.

Ok but seriously, this is something that defines and separates our generation in a huge way. We live in a world of hypercommunication- we can reach virtually anyone anywhere, and we can share images and videos with the click of a mouse. Social networks transend both space and time. Therefore we are the most unified generation yet. Whether it is for a good cause, to share a funny video, or used as a public forum, this generation has immediate access to all of it.

For example, if a kid from North Dakota and a kid from Mississippi met at a youth leadership conference (or something), and Kid A quoted “charlie bit my finger”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM (just incase you need a laugh:)),,, Kid B would immediately know what he was talking about, and a connection would be made (unless he lived under a rock… in which case he probably wouldn’t be at a leadership conference.. I digress).

Along with the sense of community, mass media provides this generation with a sense of involvement. This is actually why I like to take photos of odd-looking people/things and post them- I know I have a community of people who will find those things funny. Those photos will also be a representation of my sense of humor.

This idea of an entire country and ultimately the world being connected through humor through the use of mass media will be the focus of my blog.

I’ll start this off right, with a picture of a really nasty jedi braid that I took while walking down the stairs in the science wing.

Do you want to touch it as much as I do?

The real question is why? As I shared this photo with my friend Karlee from my mass media class, she said that it’s all media’s fault! This very… special young man probably worships all things Star Wars. His  changed appearance is a direct result of this manboy:

who wouldn't want to look like this, right?

Hollywood tells us what is acceptable and how we should conduct ourselves by portraying the heroes/heroines in a certain way. They also tell us how not to be, through villans and the “loser” characters. But I am getting ahead of myself! Watch for my criticism of Hollywood and the American people for following blindly in my next post! Over and out folks!

Second Ever! There can never be another #2…

WELCOME BACK TO THE BLOG OF THE CENTURY!

This being the second blog post, I feel that I should provide you with some good and “useful” information.

Let’s ask the question, what in the world is Mass Media anyway?!?! Well if I wanted to find some source to quote I would be putting forth WAY too much effort… so I’ll just tell you how I feel. Isn’t the idea behind this blog thing that I can do it my way?? Mass Media is communication from sender to receiver through the use of certain mediums. Examples of a mass medium include, radio, television, news paper, and according to my professor COMIC BOOKS!

By the way, did you know that my professor is mildly obsessed with UFO’s and UFO sightings… yep, our class rocks. ALSO, how many professors say they’ll assign watching “Hairspray” as homework…?NONE! None is the correct answer. I feel as though I should be using more photos to help illustrate just exactly what I’m talking about… stand by.

That’s better. Mesdames et Messieurs this is our Professor. He’s awesome, and it’s quite possibly the single most enjoyable class on the whole campus!! (insert booming voice)

Ok WELL, since in class we have been going over the overwhelmingly important and incredibly fun subject of recorded music. I feel that I should provide you readers with a small sampling if you will, of the finest Jazz and Blues music ever. ALLOWETH ME TO EDUMACATE YA! I have provided word combos underlined and highlighted in blue down below. I suggest strongly that you LISTEN TO THEM, your cultural awareness will be greatly blessed by doing this extremely enjoyable exercises.

Blues – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jCNXASjzMY 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMZhGEXSZyo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXVoOgwiYc8

Jazz – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpoyOwKJ1A0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHjZQb-kGek

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHRbEhLj540

Don’t think these amazing forms of music stop with you, check out some things going on around the world. Yes.. push those world views, it’s ok, you can do it. I give you permission!

BLUES IN AFRICA – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9JtOfYjhXE

JAZZ IN FRANCE – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWbdcNmGYJU&feature=related

 

Hahaha, ça c’était amusante Heather, merci beaucoup! Je suis heureux que nous l’avons fait.

B)

 

 

First Ever!

People of America! People of the world! HERE is my first blog post. Ever. This blog will consist of how mass media enables the spread of pop culture across America. Be excited! More to come! hesplin over and out.

Hello world!

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